I am in a vortex of obligation.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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