I accidentally burped into my bong.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
