may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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