I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
