Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
