Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
