so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
