What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize