I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
