We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
