I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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