Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
