I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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