i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Quick, to the slutcave!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I came so hard my ears popped.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
