All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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