if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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