you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
