a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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