people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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