My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
