His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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