my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
