we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
