Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize