I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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