Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
