some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
