lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize