Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
