Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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