so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize