is your mom at the bar?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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