Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
