Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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