After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
