so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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