there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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