dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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