Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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