obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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