Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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