Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
