Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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