Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
