If that was your dad, he is hot
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
