If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
