That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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