Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
