i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
