shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to make out with him forever
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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