i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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