You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
