Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
