I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
