how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
