He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
