so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize