There was a lot of him and a little penis
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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