sarcasm needs its own font
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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