im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
