Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
They have beer where we have blood.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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