I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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