i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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