just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
