so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize