I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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