I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
